Rooks & Homesickness

Don't be caught off guard.

Expect some degree of homesickness no matter how independent or mature your Rook might seem. While some may express homesickness more openly and honestly than others, all freshman college students miss some element of home. As a Rook, your son or daughter will be challenged daily, physically and academically. It is not unusual for them to question their choice, feel inadequate and want to "quit" during the first few weeks. However, these daily challenges become the successes that build pride and the confidence necessary to succeed at Norwich and in life.

Prepare yourself for complaining, crying and the words "I want to come home."

During those first few calls, homesick Rooks will test their family's commitment to Norwich. Often the challenge to parents will include statements like, "Norwich is not what I expected," or "I'm not cut out for this." Parents caught off guard here can often feel guilty and react to the Rook's desire to avoid an unfamiliar and challenging situation. Acknowledge that these feelings are common and are even expected during their training and adjustment to a highly structured, military program. Remind your Rook that you miss him or her when he or she is away at college, as well, and expect some of the crying to be your own.

Be Firm.

It is crucial, especially during your Rook's first few weeks away, that the parent/guardian(s) and any extended family members close to the Rook demonstrate a firm and unyielding commitment to their attendance at Norwich University. If a homesick Rook senses any ambivalence on the part of the decision-makers in their family about being in the Corps of Cadets, the Rook may exaggerate his or her homesickness in an effort to "push the right buttons" that he or she believes could result in withdrawal from the Corps and the University.

Remind your Rook why Norwich University was selected in the first place.

Refresh your Rook's memory about why he or she is attending Norwich, his or her goals and objectives in life. Remind him or her that the benefits in the long-term far outweigh the short-term homesickness. Remind him or her that you are willing to make any sacrifice necessary to support him or her while he or she pursues his or her life's goals. Tell your Rook how proud the family is that he or she is responding so maturely to going away to college. Remind him or her what a difference the Norwich experience will make in his or her future.

Accentuate the positive.

Discuss plans for Parents' Weekend, holiday vacations and breaks. Encourage him or her to take one week at a time, stay busy, concentrate on their studies, and work hard at being their best.

Listen on the phone.

Let your Rook share his or her likes, dislikes, achievements, failures or frustrations with you, without interruption, on the phone each week. Let him or her know that you care and give advice about problem-solving. Don't allow the conversation to become argumentative for or against going home. Instead, be helpful and encouraging, as if the issue of attending Norwich has already been resolved. Rooks are permitted to make two 10-minute calls per week. Their first phone call home will be four to five days after they begin Rook training; please be patient. However, recognize that, based on prior experiences with homesick Rooks, this first call can be the most difficult for you. You will want to make the transition period for your homesick Rook as easy as possible. During the first semester, Rooks have restricted leave privileges and are not authorized routine convenience leave. Leave is granted only for emergencies or in very special circumstances. Unscheduled visits, parent requests for convenience leave, and frequent phone contacts, especially during the first few months, prolong homesickness. It could send a subtle message to the Rook that the University's policies can be manipulated and that their parents' commitment to the University and the Corps of Cadets is a tenuous one. Email can be a great medium for daily notes and reassurances.

Advise your Rook to adhere to the University's guidelines.

If your Rook is experiencing a problem with another cadet, he or she should report the incident to their Chain of Command (immediate supervisors within the Corps of Cadets) or to their Assistant Commandant.

This is the time in your student's life when he or she must learn to work within the system and learn to take care of him or herself. Advise your Rook that he or she will be living in close quarters with students from many backgrounds, with different customs, habits, behaviors, study habits, and morals. He or she will adjust to most of these and even adopt some as they learn and grow together. However, he or she should be firm and diplomatic when he or she feels his or her rights, as a Rook, have been infringed upon. Hazing is a violation of Norwich University Rules and Regulations and should be reported immediately!

Prepare to welcome your newly recognized Cadet in December!

When your Rook comes home for winter break, he or she will have earned the right to be called a Norwich Cadet. Your cadet will have faced challenges and learned much about his or her capabilities as a young adult. Rarely can a cadet internalize the self-discipline, study habits, and leadership skills the Corps of Cadets models in one semester, but many parents tell us they notice some changes ... a new confidence, self assurance and focus. Your son or daughter has chosen a program that will instill lifetime habits and values and has passed the first milestone on a tough road. Celebrate!

Your cadet will continue to change while he or she matriculates at Norwich University. Each semester in the Corps of Cadets will offer new experiences, responsibilities and opportunities to challenge leadership skills. As partners in your cadet's personal growth and academic success, we in the Commandant's Office want you to always feel free to contact us:

Email cmdtoff@norwich.edu or call 802.485.2135.