Matthew Shepard's mother speaks about hate crimes

By Anthony T. Shiepko Jr.
Norwich Guidon Staff Writer

Speaking before a capacity crowd at St. Michael's College in Winooski, Vt., the mother of Matthew Shepard explained how she and her husband received word that her son, who was living in Wyoming, had died the victim of a hate crime.

"Matthew was my first-born son, my friend, and my confidant. We received a call at 5 a.m. in Saudi Arabia telling my husband and I that he was in Ft. Collins, Colorado, in critical condition," said Judy Shepard.

"Our basic hope was that he would hold on until we could be with him," said Shepard. After waiting 19 hours, Mr. and Mrs. Shepard and their youngest son, Logan, embarked on a 25-hour journey to Colorado that would change their lives forever.

"His head was bandaged, and machines enabled him to hang on, and his right ear was stitched," Shepard said. "I knew it was Matthew by his eyes and his braces, but the twinkle of life that Matt always had wasn't there."

"We kissed his face and stroked his arm and desperately wanted him to know we were there," Shepard said. "At first, Logan didn't want to go in, because he didn't want his last image of his brother to be that of being hooked up to machines fighting for his life."

"When Logan realized this was his last chance, he had asked his mother and father to leave the room so he could have some time alone," Shepard said. Logan was unaware that he was being watched from surveillance cameras, but his parents observed him talking, kissing and crying by Matt's side.

For two days, friends and family visited Matthew, according to Shepard. On Sunday, the hospital called the family back. That night, friends and family surrounded him, wanting to hold him. At 12:15 a.m. on Monday, October 12, 1998, Matthew died.

"There was a sense of relief that he was no longer suffering and that the men and women who did this were arrested," Shepard said. "All the hopes we had for Matthew were killed for some twisted reason known only to the killers."

"Matthew called me his first year of college to tell me that he was gay, and my first reaction was 'what took you so long to find out'," said Shepard. "Now more then ever I was fearful for his safety; I knew he would face a world of hate and discrimination."

"It isn't about being gay; it is about hate and discrimination," said Shepard. "Erin Mckinney and Russell Henderson killed because society gave them permission through the condoning of hate speeches and jokes."

"Hate is universal and is bent on destroying humanity," Shepard said. "Take a stand, let it be known that you do not find the jokes and language funny."

"When you don't stop the language, you allow them to move on to violence," Shepard said. "Then it will stop when the approval for it stops."

"I know for a fact that Erin and Russell's families still visit them in prison. Parents disown their children for being gay. What does that say? It says that it is better to be a murder than be gay," Shepard said.

According to Shepard, the media is partially to blame. "I would like to see them stay until the end of the gay pride parade, after all the flamboyant people go through, and stay and look at all the everyday, boring gay people, people who look like you and I."

"People need to see that the guy next to me at work is gay, and he's just like me, boring," Shepard said. "Fear and language lead to hate, and hate leads to violence."

"FBI statistics show increases in reported hate crimes at the same time that other serious crime continues to decrease nationally," says http://www.hrc.org/issues/leg/hcpa/.

As a priest as well as a professor at St. Michael's College, Michael Cronogue deals with hate crimes, as well. "We have had some hate language directed at our minority students," said Father Mike.

"We try to counter the hate speech with speeches that show we care about the dignity of all people on our campus," Mike said. "As a college, our mission is one to try to educate ... our community about the power of language.

"In the church and our community, we do everything we can to teach the dignity of each and every person," Mike said. "There is never any reason for a hate speech."

Shepard attends high schools as well as colleges all over the country in an attempt to try to educate young people about the affects of language on society. "I pour salt into a still raw wound, because the message is too important not to talk about it," Shepard said. "We learn to love and hate; we can unlearn hate with a commitment to try."

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